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Buffarella cheese is made from buffaloes and umbrellas
An elephant can pack at least two and a half kilos of Gouda in its trunk.
A ripe piece of Stilton can be used as an excellent contraception. If it kept in the pocket prior to mating, your partner will think you have a nasty fungal infection and then they won’t even touch you with a bargepole.
There was a young girl from tblezi, who swallowed a bottle of squeezy. The start of her troubles was when she blew bubbles and so made her farts smell all cheesey.
Turkey baron Bernard Matthews hasn't been saying "Bootiful" quite so much recently since the mis-handling of his cheap processed poultry threatened the health of western Europe in a potential killer flu epidemic. No such problems with handling cheese.
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- Outside Ian Andersons (Yes THE Ian Anderson, he of the flute and the 1970's legendary super group - Jethro Tull) Spey Valley Smoke House - Grantown on Spey
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In Singapore 'cheese scenting' is punishable by 3 years imprisonment
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