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Although it seems impossible, I have bred an army of cheeses that can actually dance!
Ironically, during a world record attempt at cheddar eating. Mr E Dam gorged on cheddar to a such an extent that he became lodged in Cheddar Gorge. The play on words more than made up for the drop tourism caused by the block pass.
Never-heard-of-him-until-he-was-dead-but-now-all-over-the-news Soviet Agent Alexander Litvinenko was poisoned by a teapot, by some polonium and by a "mysterious object" if you read the Daily Mail, but no cheese was involved.
Napoleon kept rank Emental in his jacket. Hence the shifty look.
Johnny Fabulous Wilkinson attributes his miraculous recovery from injury partly to a high-cheese content workout regime involving lifting large stiltons and kicking edams, and partly to the fact that Scotland are rubbish.
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random cheese fact
The world record for fitting whole cheese in your mouth at once is held by Herbert Cheddar, he managed to fit in 78 whole babybel at once!
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