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Fury broke out today when a sceintist mated a stilton with a double gloucester. Anti cheeses breeders have branded the mating as "foolish" and "going against the laws of nature"
A nugget of pure cheese was recently discovered in a South African diamond mine. Said a Cartier spokesperson "we've never seen anything like it before". It is now in a glass case, under 24-hour CCTV surveillance in a secret location somewhere in Wigan
Cheese is worshipped by 764 separate tribes in Africa.
Roquefort - The King of Cheeses, not to be confused with an American competitor 'Squeezy cheese' - The Cheese of Kings.
The ambitions of attractive older lady Hilary Clinton to become the first female American president are likely to be thwarted by the small minded bigotry of many of her countrymen, and American cheese is rubbish like all their food.
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- Summit of Mauna Kea, big island, Hawaii. Elevation 4205 m Temp -15c. Gemini observatory visible in centre of photo.
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Feta is not a cheese - it is really millions of tiny elephants standing very close together.
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