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A ripe piece of Stilton can be used as an excellent contraception. If it kept in the pocket prior to mating, your partner will think you have a nasty fungal infection and then they won’t even touch you with a bargepole.
The famous Iranian cheese "Hostage" was today discovered to be nothing more than nuclear ccurds after its burka was forcibly removed for its driving licence foto.
The only man to have had his full name named after cheeses was Mr Camenbert Stilton Roule of Weston Super Mare
The record for the cheesiest substance known to man used to be a little known cheese called Richochelie, which was a local delicacy in a small village in the south of Italy called Richolembrie. However, this record has recently been beaten, by EastEnders
mozzarella is not a "true" cheese. It is a colony of microscopic "cheesules".
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on 12th April, 2005
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Birmingham New Street
Molineux. Wolves versus Ipswich, 11th April 2005. Final score - Wolves 2, Ipswich nil. We were pants, and can count ourselves fortunate to get nil.