All Facts Food fascist Gillian McKeith says you are what you eat, so she must have once eaten a bitter, slouching scottish cow. She'd be much happier if she ate more cheese and spent less time looking at other people's poo.The Japanese Buddha had an excessive addiction to cheese, therefore his eternal smilein line with ancient tradition, anyone caught insulting cheese on the channel island of Sark is liable to be flogged by a bailif wearing only wellingtons and a flat cap both made from Double Glocester.Once attractive pop princess but now loony knickerless tart Britney Spears has cut all her hair off in a tantrum because her favourite cheesemonger was all out of best mature cheddar. If she made a bit of an effort then she'd be welcome to share my cheeseJoey Tempest (Danish lead singer heart-throb of shabby 90's euro-rock band "Europe") now resides in The Priory, where he remains clinically addicted to Sage Derby . . . Tragic.
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