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Cheese doesn't actually exist at all - the popular idea of "cheese" stems from a cruelly orchestrated mass-hypnosis prank conducted by Paul McKenna at Butlins, June 2004
while on holiday in Brighton, a wedge of Red Leicester Cheese was used by my father to prop up the axle on his Sankey trailer, while a new wheel was fitted.
Contrary to popular belief the Moon is not made of nor taste of cheese. It is actually made of bleached Spam and tastes of discarded rugby boots.
Babybel's placed between the toes will give relief from painful corns, they also give your feet a natural cheese aroma. To avoid waste be sure to consume before expiry date.
Lions will only each cheese if given to them. They will never ask for it themselves
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cheese fact #195
The first 'ASBO' has been given to a cheese today. Reports suggest that the 'Dirty Cheddar' was caught committing a 'Lewd Act' on a cracker.
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