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If you have a door that simply will not stay open, use a wedge of Parmesan to wedge it open. (Roquefort doesn't work quite so well)
After an extensive 6 month undercover study I can exclusively reveal that the preferred cheese within emo sub culture is Dairylea. Apparently the cheese best attuned to their emotional needs and can be used as an Elastoplast when self harming.
Ironically, during a world record attempt at cheddar eating. Mr E Dam gorged on cheddar to a such an extent that he became lodged in Cheddar Gorge. The play on words more than made up for the drop tourism caused by the block pass.
Each of the contestants on ITVs I'm A Celebrity show were chosen for their love of cheese. Jason Donovan enjoys a mild cheddar, that gay bloke likes a bit of hard italian cheese and Faith Brown's breasts are made of Dairylea
the prefered music of Monterry Jack cheese is that produced by Dire Straits.
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cheese fact #209
stinking bishop doesn't in fact contain any members of the clergy in its ingredients.
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