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The moon does in fact share several chemical properties with cream cheese
The reason why cows can't jump is because if they did, the milk in their udders would curdle into cheese, which would block their cow nipples, making them unable to milk, which would eventually lead to them exploding.
The government is trying to stop newspapers from publishing "Page Cheese". Pictures of naked baby bells are said to be upsetting the more curvacious "edams"
During nuclear testing on Christmas Island in the 1950’s a soldiers ‘pack-up’ was accidentally exposed to one of the blast. When Privet E Dam went to tuck in to his cheese sandwiches he discovered that they had mutated in to the now famous ‘Cheese Zilla’
Monkeys have been found to be allergic to over 20 varieties of cheese including traditional cheddar and brie. People in northern africa have been known to hang bits of cheese from their bedroom windows to deter monkeys from entering.
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cheese fact #235
in line with ancient tradition, anyone caught insulting cheese on the channel island of Sark is liable to be flogged by a bailif wearing only wellingtons and a flat cap both made from Double Glocester.
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