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The planet Cheesmulon VII plans to attack us because of our utter direspect to their species. Cheese? Portable heat rays, the next fad?
Sir Patrick Moore is made out of cheese, he just hasn't discovered it yet.
When people talk of 'Holy Cheese', they don't mean cheese that has been blessed by the vicar and sprayed with holy water. They simply mean cheese with holes in it. However, blessed cheese has been proven to ward off evil spirits. Or garlic or something.
Hedgehogs tend to eat cheese rather than fish, given the choice
A turophile is a person with a love of cheese. This is in stark contrast to a carpophile which is a person with a love of hairy minges.
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cheese fact #270
Henry VIII was rather partial to a noggin of cheese, hence his portly stature
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