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Facts
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If cheese could be condensed into the essence of humanity and applied in military terms, Stilton would easily make Regimental Sergeant Major; whilst Dairylea would be lucky to scrape Lance Corporal (Stinking Bishop would obviously become a Major General).
The reason why the royal princes couldnt serve in Iraq is shocking! Iraqis are feared for making" Grabloshia"-a lethal cheese made from sandals and massage house waste water! A sensible move in proctecting our royal boys.
Cheese is not affected by gravity. It only stays pinned to the Earth due to its irrational fear of heights.
The current Labour government, have so far not had any cheese related scandals hit them.......that we know of!
Cheese and fish don't go
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cheese fact #286
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The moon does in fact share several chemical properties with cream cheese
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