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Cheese was actually first discovered when a cow went "off" during warm weather
Eskimos may have dozens of words for "snow", but they have no word for "cheese". Instead they say "gubbuluk laak kwon ker duska scard" which literally translates as "udder liquid of the horned cow that's gone hard but tastes nice".
Whilst holidaying in Hearne bay, Kent, in 1987, my 1.6li Austin Montego, developed a puncture on the rear passenger side. Using a ball of Edam I succesfully managed to create a makeshift punture repair kit due to the cheeses robust chracteristics.
Scientists (Cheeseologists) have predicted a winter "fondue" flu. Good news is that you can cure it with Gouda. Yeah!
After an extensive 6 month undercover study I can exclusively reveal that the preferred cheese within emo sub culture is Dairylea. Apparently the cheese best attuned to their emotional needs and can be used as an Elastoplast when self harming.
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cheese fact #334
JCB Cheese-elmax currently holds the land speed record for cheese-powered vehicles - a staggering 350.092 mph!!!
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