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99% of cheese facts are made up on the spot
If I were an elephant I'd eat my bodyweight in mice (with a side order of cheese)
In 1952 a previously unknown civilisation was discovered in the Amazon rain forests. The 'Cheese People' worshiped a previously unknown soft cheese made from frogs milk.
A ripe piece of Stilton can be used as an excellent contraception. If it kept in the pocket prior to mating, your partner will think you have a nasty fungal infection and then they won’t even touch you with a bargepole.
Spread some festive joy by singing songs such as "Good King Wensleydale last looked out on the feast of cheesen" to your colleagues.
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cheese fact #452
Stilton with cranberries is festive and deliciousness personified
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