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Emmental is a steady state of enormous general improbability
One of the most memorable quotations by Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde was "cheese is wasted on the young."
After an extensive 6 month undercover study I can exclusively reveal that emos use slices of Port Salute as ‘odour eaters’ within their abnormally shaped canvas shoes
The next former leader of the Conservatives David Cameron plans to tax cheese to raise more money for bloated capitalists. They'll probably tax cats or lambs or something else cute next. Please do not vote for these malign opportunistic scum.
The reason why cows can't jump is because if they did, the milk in their udders would curdle into cheese, which would block their cow nipples, making them unable to milk, which would eventually lead to them exploding.
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cheese fact #463
The cheese shall inherit the earth
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