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Once attractive pop princess but now loony knickerless tart Britney Spears has cut all her hair off in a tantrum because her favourite cheesemonger was all out of best mature cheddar. If she made a bit of an effort then she'd be welcome to share my cheese
in line with ancient tradition, anyone caught insulting cheese on the channel island of Sark is liable to be flogged by a bailif wearing only wellingtons and a flat cap both made from Double Glocester.
Red Leicester has a resonant frequency exactly the same as the frequency Kate Bush sings at. So, if you were to play Wuthering Heights to a piece of the cheese at approx 135 decibels, it will shatter into thousands of pieces.
In Singapore 'cheese scenting' is punishable by 3 years imprisonment
Before biblical times, Easter was commonly known as Cheester, hence the expression Happy Cheester
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cheese fact #56
two trucks of canadian goat cheese were recently confiscated when their contents were found to be turtle based!
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