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If cheese could be condensed into the essence of humanity and applied in military terms, Stilton would easily make Regimental Sergeant Major; whilst Dairylea would be lucky to scrape Lance Corporal (Stinking Bishop would obviously become a Major General).
This is a public health warning: If you go to the bottom of your garden looking for fairies and you don't find any, it's because they are indoors eating your cheese!


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